A friend of mine recently asked about my blog. I had mentioned that I had stopped writing because I didn’t see the point any more. Don’t get me wrong, I still practiced finding and acknowledging gratitudes every day. I just didn’t write or document it publicly. I told her I had lost the umph, the drive, the purpose, and I was pretty confident I didn’t have an audience anyway so what did it matter. That’s when my friend said “I read your blog, Dani Angell. I read it to get inspired.”

That should have been enough to start me back up then and there. That conversation allowed me to hear the quiet voice telling me to rekindle the spark turn from a whisper into all out shouting in my soul. I still chose to ignore it. It wasn’t until I received word of the passing of a student that I woke up and am here now acting on what I believe to be part of my life’s purpose.

This student was the fifth person within a year and half that I’ve had to say goodbye to. Out of those five, only one had lived what we would consider a full life. This student only had one year completed in high school. She was full of light and love and energy every time I saw her. When she was in my class she would hug me every day, sometimes even sneaking up behind me to give me a hug, always running down the halls just to give me a hug. Even though she wasn’t the biggest fan of the subject I taught, she would still give me her best. After she left my classroom, I still received those amazing hugs every time I saw her. While helping out at a high school dance back in February, she ran over to me as soon as she saw me and we hugged so hard her bobby pins became entangled in my hair and for a moment we were just stuck with our heads together belly laughing. This student knew what it meant to live life to the fullest and to infuse positivity, love, light, and joy into every situation and person she met.Outside of school, our paths often crossed at the grocery store. Each time, I had my basket full of fresh veggies and she would have chocolate. We had one of these encounters just a couple of weeks ago. I told her one day I would see her with a basket full of veggies. She replied “ Ms. Dani, life’s too short. Sometimes you just have to go for the chocolate.” I smiled and told her I loved her. She smiled back and replied that she loved me too. That was the last time we talked.

Here’s the funny thing. she was my teacher more than I was hers. Life is too short. Life is completely unpredictable. It's not fair. It doesn't make sense. It is a wild ride that will knock the wind out of you and take your breath away sometimes all in the same moment. Through it all, however, we write our stories. We choose how we respond to obstacles. We choose how we are shaped by the joys and sadness life brings. We choose how to imprint ourselves on the hearts of others. We craft the big ways we will be remembered through the small things we do each and every day. We control our controllables and surrender, let go, and trust with everything else. We decide if each breath is one of grievance or gratitude.

 I realized it doesn’t matter if I have an audience to write for. What matters is that I am crafting my story with intention. What matters is through life’s challenges and celebrations I encounter them with an open heart, that I love big and hug hard, and honor all of the characters and teachers helping me along the journey. I will honor my student by living the lessons she taught me. I know she will continue to teach and guide me. Truth is we really don’t know how many pages we have to write. We are all on borrowed time. I do know I will make however many of pages I have left count. I will decide the direction of the next chapters in life. My story will be a love story. If by some small chance I happen to inspire someone while writing it, all the better. My “once upon a time” begins now.

Love Big. Hug Hard. Laugh Loud. Write On.